I COULDN'T CAREer LESS

Job, schmob – I need a career…

POST #7: Oh, the irony…

Given my last post, which was pretty much a comprehensive slating of how utterly rubbish most recruitment websites are, you would think that I might not be at the top of the Christmas card lists of the people who run them. I dare say they may not even like me very much and would have various interesting ideas about where I can stick my whingy, cutting and slightly self-satisfied comments. I certainly didn’t expect one of them to offer me a job.

But so they did.

Creativepool.co.uk is now 60,000 members strong and is one of the most successful creative agencies in the UK. Google  “creative jobs” and they’re at the top of the list – one up from the Guardian which languishes in second place. That’s pretty damn good considering their entire office is barely bigger than my lounge, albeit a lot funkier. And what do they want me to do? Well, first off, they want me to blog as one of a team of five bloggers. Which is handy, actually, because (and you may not be aware of this revelation) I do that already. Not only that, but I can be as edgy, controversial and generally rude as I like – just as long as I stick to the brief. I’m the Jeremy Clarkson of blogs! The David Mitchell of, er…more blogs! The brief, by the way, is to give “the creatives” out there the low-down on what’s new on the creative landscape. So that’s anything from design, innovation, fashion, digital media, social media, architecture, broadcasting… So if you have any ideas about what I can blog about, covering those subjects, leave me a comment and I’ll gladly take your suggestion and see what I can do with it.

Oh, and there’s more good news. I’m not quite sure how it happened (and I intend to find out) but my blog has reached Hawaii. Yes, HAWAII. And boy, does that make me excited! For me, every time I say Hawaii, I get a flashback of Jack Lord turning round rather snazzily in a “aren’t I handsome?” way, followed by a vision of a belly dancer, a very low-flying jet, and a canoe full of men paddling rather furiously. But to this day, I’ve never heard of anyone else called Danno, which I find rather surprising, given the number of Britneys and Neos there are, apparently. And what a great name for a footie ref: “Book him, Danno!” An opportunity missed, I feel. Though if he ever got as far as the addendum, “murder one”, I would suggest that the match be postponed. Or at least extra time added on.

So anyway, my first blog, which is a pithy celebration of the iPhone, is due out pretty soon. I’ll let you know when. I must admit, I’m eager to know what will happen once my work lands in the inbox of 60,000 people. Crank calls? Hate mail? Same old, same old…

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March 15, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

8 Comments »

  1. Wow! You got a job. You wrote about what rubbish recruitment websites are and they rewarded you with a job.

    This is freakin’ inspirational! I’ve clearly been going about this job-hunting thing all wrong. I’ve been writing nice, professional business letters. I’ve been making sure that I put on makeup and look nice when I visit a headhunter. For Pete’s sake, I’ve actually stooped to taking a shower before a really important appointment. And what has it gotten me. Bupkis. Nada. Zip.

    All this time, what I really needed to do was trash-talk those those a**hole recruiters, sitting there all smug in their $1,680 size 2 Escada power suits and their ugly Christian Louboutin platform pumps with the flashy red soles and the Minnie Mouse toes. They make me want to puke.

    I needed to rant about the hypocrisy when they interview you while taking careful notes in their leather portfolio — dutifully writing:
    milk (2%)
    Weetabix
    get car serviced
    bread & butter note to Baroness Ruth Deech
    enema nozzle

    I need to raise a ruckus about how long they make me sit in the waiting room with the tasteful oriental carpet (probably fake) and the out-of-date magazines with the address label carefully cut out, as if anybody gives a shit who the magazine belongs to. As if we couldn’t find out the home address of every recruiter in the place with one 15-second computer search.

    I’m motivated! Job websites STINK! Headhunters are superficial charlatans, each and ever one!!! I HATE THEM ALL.

    P.S. I’m available to start work next week.

    Comment by Kay Lorraine | March 15, 2010 | Reply

    • Thank you for giving me a good belly-laugh at work, Kay, which is always a good thing! I suspect, though, that your intense level of bilious hatred expressed above might be a *shade* too far to snare you a job, but hey, why not give it a go?!

      I also need to qualify what I mean by the fact that I was given a job, though: it’s only one day per week (so far) and I probably spend more in electricity powering up my computer than I actually get paid. But I’m doing it for the exposure, the practice, the contacts and the glimmer of hope that it will lead to something else.

      If not, I can always go and drown my sorrows in a bucket of popcorn when the new Hawaii Five-O comes out.

      Goodbye-ha…

      Comment by Ashley Morrison | March 23, 2010 | Reply

  2. By the way, CBS Studios is in the process RIGHT THIS MINUTE of remaking Hawaii Five-O. Aussie actor Alex O’Loughlin is playing the Jack Lord part. “Lost” co-star Daniel Dae Kim is playing Detective Chin Ho Kelly. Scott Caan (who was in “Oceans Eleven”) is playing Danno.

    And, yes, they do plan to end each episode with the traditional “Book ’em, Danno.”

    Comment by Kay Lorraine | March 15, 2010 | Reply

  3. Very many congratulations on your new job…first step on a new road. Well, second step I suppose as starting the blog was the first one. I’m fascinated by the whole blogging thing, so can I ask a couple of questions: how do you know you are being read in Hawaii? and do you have any idea how many readers you have? It’s really interesting the way these things disperse. Anyway, keep up the good work, and I shall look forward to the iphone blog. And by the way, if you want to blog about the deep questions of social media, aren’t the big questions why anyone writes, or reads, these things at all?
    Cheers
    P

    Comment by Philip | March 16, 2010 | Reply

    • WordPress is good like that; it gives the blogger stats galore to obsess over and can even tell you roughly where you’ve been accessed from. But in this case, Kay (from Hawaii) found me via a discussion we were both having on LinkedIn (details in another reply here) and decided to check me out. Since then, Kay has “favourited” me on her own blog site, so maybe I’ll get even more transatlantic traffic now!

      Comment by Ashley Morrison | March 23, 2010 | Reply

  4. Re this last post – it’s cut and pasted from an email I sent Ashley. Ashley asked me to post it here and suggested another question – why do people reply in private, not public, as I had done. So far as I can see, there are still distinctions that we make between public discussion and private comments. I would suggest that while the former is necessarily polished, the latter may be seen as having a higher status. I might, for example “like” and comment on a Facebook friend’s new baby, but then send a private congratulatory message too. I think also that just because one side of the conversation (the blogger) has decided to go public, albeit in a limited an managed way, that doesn’t bind other participants to a public conversation. Interesting stuff. We’ll see what the maestro has to say next.

    And by the way, Kay, that is a hilarious comment. Blind rage is clearly the way forward.

    Comment by Philip | March 16, 2010 | Reply

    • Just to come back to you, Phil, about this point…

      Kay actually found me because of a discussion we were both involved in on LinkedIn, concerning why we don’t comment on blogs. And I’m as guilty as anyone of that, by the way. Note that it has taken me rather a long time to reply to your comment on my own blog, for a start! Anyway, here’s what I posted on that LinkedIn discussion:

      I started my own blog relatively recently (I have six posts) and am obsessing over my stats, as anyone who uses WordPress probably does. But moving on to the comments question, I too have received very interesting private replies from people and subsequently had to ask them to “go public”. In one case, the person in question emailed me back to say that I could certainly use what he’d emailed me but did not want to post anything himself because he [quote] “didn’t want to enter the blogosphere because it’s a slippery slope [he] wants to avoid.”

      On the flip side, of course, there are people who feel the need to comment in the most vile or stupid manner possible, especially when the original article is about a celebrity. There is name calling, there is bigotry and there is what amounts to slander available to read in many comments sections. Why is that deemed to be acceptable? And if it’s not acceptable (which it isn’t) why is it allowed? Go on YouTube and look at the comments under any video. You’ll only need to scroll down once or twice to find something bileous and offensive.

      So yes, I absolutely think you’re right – we do need to comment more (especially us self-obsessed bloggers!) but we need to NOT hide behind the safety of the anonymity afforded us on the internet as an excuse to comment offensively or inappropriately. Bottom line: if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it at all.

      Comment by Ashley Morrison | March 23, 2010 | Reply

  5. Congratulations! Hope it goes really well. It’ll be great to be at the cutting edge of culture, innit.

    I do hope our subtitles don’t go downhill now…. 😉

    Comment by therealchrisparkle | March 17, 2010 | Reply


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